Showing posts with label police report. Show all posts
Showing posts with label police report. Show all posts

Saturday, October 29, 2011

LAW ENFORCEMENT SATURDAY!!!



I used to be in law enforcement, and I hold that service in high esteem.  There isn't enough praise for the men and women in uniform who enforce our laws.  It's a job of great rewards and frustrations, and I wouldn't trade my experiences for the world.

In Bandon's police report this week, we find that mom is always right.  A b.b. gun shooting incident involving juveniles hit the victim where?  The eye, of course!  We also see that our officers had to deal with drug arrests, missing persons, suicidal citizens, intoxicated drivers, and investigating numerous situations with suspicious conditions.  Just another patrol week in Bandon!

Next time you see our officers, give them a wave with more than one finger.  Forget about that traffic ticket you got, and think about all the stuff they have to face each and every day.  Their job has a component that most of ours don't - the daily risk of serious injury, or worse. 

Besides, you know you deserved the ticket.  You're just mad you got caught.





SHERIFF
The sheriff troop has to put up with a lot of poop.
Dealing with humanity is not the easiest thing, you see.
Chasing someone on the run is no fun when the bad guy has a gun.
High speed chase is a dangerous race, bad people run to save face.
When one who is wanted tries to flee, using the taser is the key.
With a radio in the car, they will not get far.
Some people say officers use too much force
(especially when it applies to them, of course!).
Some days duty is no fuss, but others are full of adrenaline rush.
Ten percent of our ‘clients’ do ninety percent of the law defiance.
Before we clear from the jail, the perp has already made bail.
Before we're done with the paper work, they've already let out the jerk.
To help out the good folk is not a joke.
To help those who have lost all hope and are at the end of the rope
is part of the work of the sheriff folk.
The thin blue line is very fine as the budgets are in the red line.
I'll end this rhyme with hope they get there in time.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Friday Fun!

Bandon Police Report

Two of my favorites from this week's police report:

8:08 pm, complaint about a man in a wheelchair creating a traffic hazard by riding down the center of Eighth Street.  Unable to locate.  

My wife points out that it was a male driver.  I point out that he sped off before the police got there.   This is how I imagine him...


1:46 am, suspicious conditions at...caller reports that a neighbor is fearful of being stabbed by two suspects; victim left house for the night.

For the night?!!?  For the NIGHT????   I'd give it at least a few days.  Maybe a week.  Are the suspects related to the caller?  This could make the holidays VERY awkward...




Now,  for something more exciting...

Enzymes
Enzymes fit good in rhymes
 as most humans have no clue how good they are for you.
Your body can use about 3,000 enzymes, but in these times
       the enzymes are hard to find.
Enzymes are proteins that catalyze your lives.
No proteins to catalyze means you cannot metabolize.
Your body can make some enzymes but your diet mostly supplies it.
Cells need enzymes to make them complete but heat to enzymes is not neat.
Greater than 103 degrees
        is not good for the enzymes in me.
If your body gets too hot for too long a time, your life is on the line - there go your enzymes.
If your food is heat-processed
       for enzymes this is not best.
Pasteurization is the process of this nation.
The heat puts enzymes through strife -
        it denatures the proteins that maintain life.
So if you drink processed pasteurized apple juice, you need to be a better sleuth.
Apple flavored sugar water does not keep the doctor away.  You need another way.
Cold processed or vacuum filtered drinks are fine,
         they kept their enzymes and now they're mine.
So the moral of this rhyme is your enzymes are needed to keep you fine.



P.S.  I love enzymes.  I really, really do.   If you want to learn to love them as much as I, I highly recommend the book ENZYMES, THE FOUNTAIN OF LIFE by D. A. Lopez, R.M. Williams, and K. Miehlke (MDs).   You can get it on Amazon for $3.86 (at least, as of today's date).  My copy is dog-eared and marked up.  If that doesn't tell you how much fun I am, nothing will.