Friday Fun!

Bandon Police Report

Two of my favorites from this week's police report:

8:08 pm, complaint about a man in a wheelchair creating a traffic hazard by riding down the center of Eighth Street.  Unable to locate.  

My wife points out that it was a male driver.  I point out that he sped off before the police got there.   This is how I imagine him...

1:46 am, suspicious conditions at...caller reports that a neighbor is fearful of being stabbed by two suspects; victim left house for the night.

For the night?!!?  For the NIGHT????   I'd give it at least a few days.  Maybe a week.  Are the suspects related to the caller?  This could make the holidays VERY awkward...

Now,  for something more exciting...

Enzymes

Enzymes fit good in rhymes
 as most humans have no clue how good they are for you.
Your body can use about 3,000 enzymes, but in these times
       the enzymes are hard to find.
Enzymes are proteins that catalyze your lives.
No proteins to catalyze means you cannot metabolize.
Your body can make some enzymes but your diet mostly supplies it.
Cells need enzymes to make them complete but heat to enzymes is not neat.
Greater than 103 degrees
        is not good for the enzymes in me.
If your body gets too hot for too long a time, your life is on the line - there go your enzymes.
If your food is heat-processed
       for enzymes this is not best.
Pasteurization is the process of this nation.
The heat puts enzymes through strife -
        it denatures the proteins that maintain life.
So if you drink processed pasteurized apple juice, you need to be a better sleuth.
Apple flavored sugar water does not keep the doctor away.  You need another way.
Cold processed or vacuum filtered drinks are fine,
         they kept their enzymes and now they're mine.
So the moral of this rhyme is your enzymes are needed to keep you fine.

P.S.  I love enzymes.  I really, really do.   If you want to learn to love them as much as I, I highly recommend the book ENZYMES, THE FOUNTAIN OF LIFE by D. A. Lopez, R.M. Williams, and K. Miehlke (MDs).   You can get it on Amazon for $3.86 (at least, as of today's date).  My copy is dog-eared and marked up.  If that doesn't tell you how much fun I am, nothing will.